BlowBack^TM future post date: February 3, 2006

In a sign of continued defiance in the face of his arrest, Congressman Tom DeLay today hired former Ohio Congressman James Traficant as an advisor. DeLay said, "Jim's gonna teach me how to effectively run a campaign from the pokey, as well as how to make a shank out of a mug handle. That whole tossin' salad thing may take awhile."

BlowBack^TM future post date: March 19th, 2006

Congressman Brady Kevin today announced his support for an amendment to the Federal Omnibus Budget bill requiring states to take into effect the ability of an accused drunk driver to "hold his liquor", despite being over the legal limit. The amendment, known as the "Two Beer Queer Bill", would withold federal highway dollars from any state not adopting the standards. According to Kevin, "it's ridiculous that some places will prosecute someone for being a DWI when clearly they could recite every letter of the alphabet, whether or not it was in correct order."

Lobbying on behalf of the Distilled Spirits Council, former Congressman William Janklow stated that the amendment would save countless taxpayer dollars by "reducing the strain placed upon the criminal justice system by the needless prosecution of non-crack-using, white drivers. In some states, like say, South Dakota, this would eliminate the need to prosecute anyone for DWI whatsoever."

BlowBack^TM future post date: June 21st, 2009

The Supreme Court today upheld the basis of Roe v. Wade in a 5-to-4 decision handed down today in Smith v. Alabama. The Smith decision strikes down an Alabama law passed by Governor Roy Moore requiring the consent of a Baptist minister for hysterectomy as an unconstitutional breach of privacy rights noted in Roe and Griswold v. Connecticut.

Again, as in prior cases coming before the court this term, the swing vote was cast by Justice Harriet Miers. Miers again drew the ire of conservatives for her willingness to support precedence on controversial issues, much like the Justice she replaced, Sandra Day O'Connor. According to commentator Bill Bennett, Miers "should have been aborted herself along with every black child born in 1946."