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FutureEvents: The "soon-to-be-blogged" blog.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

BlowBack^TM future post date: February 9th, 2010

The fledgling campaign of Illinois Senate candidate Jack Ryan has met a similar fate to his 2004 campaign today as revelations about European sex-romps have once again forced him to quit the race.

In 2004, allegations of his estranged wife and Star Trek actress Jeri Ryan regarding visits to New York and Paris sex clubs where he attempted to force her to perform public sexual acts doomed the family-values-oriented politician. This time around, news of trips he made to Amsterdam to engage in what is known locally as "Von Poepen-Geslacht", or vulgar outdoor extra-marital affairs, have doomed his dream of representing Illinois on the floor of the Senate.

According to Ryan, "It's a shame that the great people of Illinois will have to be represented by an upstanding black man who supports gay marriage for another six years."

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Welcome to FutureEvents - The time-warped blog where we bring you relevant posts from a future date in our current time-space event-string. In other words, we post what we'll likely be posting at some point in the near or not-so-near future using our patent-pending wormhole-based BlowBack^TM technology. We can't know for sure that this is what we'll be posting, since the current event-string may be changed from what we can currently see through quantum reflection (see: the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle).

One problem with posts from the future is that their hyperlinks rarely work. In this case, the BlowBack^TM machine will substitute in its place a relevant link to an event or similar event in the chain which correlates. In the event that you find a better correlating current link, please post it so that we can update the BlowBack^TM algorithms.